Category Archives: Of a Fashion

Business Cards Rule

Bits on the Side very much requires some snazzy, sexy, designery business cards like these

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No matter what the technological advancements are in this whacky, is-it-even-round, world of ours – business cards will never die.  L’impossible. You cannot win $100 bar tabs without ’em. 

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Stuck at Prom

Kiwi students attending School Ball this year ought to take note.  Stuck at Prom is a competition run by duct tape brand, Duck Tape.  Create a prom outfit made of duct tape, show fashionability and originality and you may just win a $3k scholarship.

Last years winners spent over 140 hours making their outfits.

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Inflatable boobs lost at sea

Keep an eye out for dem dar nasty pirates and dar big, beautiful cleavages.  Ee-arr.  Ahoy floating boobies starboard Cap’n, oo-arr.

More than 130,000 inflatable breasts have been lost at sea en route to Australia.

Men’s magazine Ralph was planning to include the boobs as a free gift with its January issue.

A spokeswoman for Ralph said the container left docks in Beijing two weeks ago but turned up empty in Sydney this week.  Ralph editor Santi Pintado urged anyone who has any information to contact the magazine.

“If anyone finds any washed up on a beach, please let us know.”

Aloha!  Ralph actually plans to still use these salty silicone sacks, if they recover them.  Who knows where they’ve been? 

ralphRalph readers cancel Christmas in despair

If anyone offers you near new, pre-loved chicken fillets that smell of seaweed and pirate/penguin sweat, just say no.

The demure Bride look is so last year

I can only imagine how the fitting for this Bride’s dress went.  My guess is there was a lot of booze and drugs involved.

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What we really need is a caption contest. 

Is the lady in black distressed that her cut-outs are amply outdone by the Bride’s cutouts?

Blinging Samsonite

Normally, if I say someone is carrying some major flash Samsonite, I mean that they have big emotional baggage, and watch me run the opposite direction.

But this really is some mega flashy blingy luggage, Samonsite Black Label, designed by British designer and enfant terrible, Alexander McQueen

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The hero piece in the collection takes design inspiration from the human rib cage. McQueen took a molud of a male torso and began to work from there. “The human ribcage protects our vital organs as we move about in the world. Luggage takes on the same role as we travel and pack our worldly possessions inside for safe transport,” said McQueen at the Samsonite launch of his new collection. Available in bone, black and chocolate brown the hero piece boasts a ribcage and sternum outline in the front, and a backbone on the back.

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Too many crystals spoil the sparkle

Aww, aint this sweet?

 

Just turned 16, British bride Missy recently got married in a barely-there Swarovski crystal bikini sarong.  Her bridesmaids adorned their bras outside of their dresses, the groom and best man made sure their chin curtains matched.  Daddy – who paid for the lot, was apparently tres proud.

In the end, making Missy’s wedding dreams come true cost her father – who lives in a caravan and surfaces driveways for a living – a whopping £100,000.

But as his princess, who hasn’t been in a classroom since she was nine and wants to be a glamour model, posed for photographs, her father Simon, 35, declared it was worth every penny. ‘I’m very proud of her today,’ he said.

The couple married six days after Missy turned 16 at St Mary’s Catholic Church in Congleton-Cheshire. After the ceremony-guests in feathers and crystals enjoyed champagne and an all-day buffet at the reception. Girls as young as nine showed off bikini tops, high heels and make-up.

Guest Victoria Docherty, 23, who wore a £700 hotpants and bra outfit, said: ‘This isn’t unusual – it’s just what we do at weddings. It’s all very extravagant. Everything is paid for by the bride’s daddy.’

Naked shoes for naked people

Ugh.  I say show less feet, not more. 

Dopie sandals are apparently the footwear this summer, so rave my hippie, yoga lovin’, skater-freak buds.  There’s gonna be a revolution of shoe evolution, or something.  Um, yeah. 

Forget it, just cover your feet, for shame.