Category Archives: Celebitty

Donny and Marie do Star Wars

This vid is a classic, in a strange and too-awful-not-to-watch way.  

Donny and Marie Osmond have a go at making Star Wars a musical, starring as Luke and Leia.  Somehow they manage to drag Kris Kristofferson into the act, hamming it up as Han Solo.  Meanwhile, a platoon of Storm Troopers dance and sing Motown and showtune classics while R2-D2 panics.  It may have been the 70s, but still, there can be no excuse for this level of showtime disaster.

Remember, Luke and Leia did turn out to be brother and sister – maybe the Osmonds were on to something way before the rest of us.



Always yearned to body double for Barbara Streisand or Paul Holmes?  No, me neither.  But, if I did want to, then Sleeveface is where I would post the evidence. 

Put a record sleeve or CD case in front of your face, align your body with the person on the cover, get a mate to take a pic and then send it to Sleeveface.  Awes.

Check out some of the more inventive photo submissions below.  The best are planned for a Sleevefaces book.





Willie Jackson v Tony Veitch

How embarrassing.  Looks like Willie Jackson didn’t get the memo.  Duh Willie – doncha know that the only person allowed to talk about, and risk the right to a fair trial, is Tony Veitch.*  Du-uh. 

Jeesh, for a sick man, Tony has some paua, doesn’t he?  Either that, or he just has sheer nerve.  Balls of steel, brains of clay.

The real victim in this (remember: it ain’t poor, career-limited, shattered, mentally unstable Tony) seems to be the only one with the class to refrain from commenting publicly.  Although, to not hear from her is somehow starting to seem a tad unfair. 

Here Tony is, back in the saddle after landing a great media job, speed-talking on our telly box once more.  Now he has the chance to sway public opinion and work on redeeming himself to the great unwashed sports-lovers of this country.  But, I wonder how this risks the victim’s rights, and her expectation for a fair trial of her violent perpertrator. 

“In many ways, it felt like a trial as I knew the media, in particular, would be watching to see how I performed. It’s up to everyone else to judge that all I can say is that I loved every minute.”

That would so suit him, eh?  If we could just make that nasty real-life trial go away, and instead make this nervy, first-time back on the box, sports show be the trial … ahh, life would be so Veitchy keen. 

Can you imagine the stink he would make if his victim was to become a regular on our telly screens and newspaper columns, thanking all in sundry for their support during this difficult time?  It would be detrimental to his case, so does that mean that Veitch doing the same is advantageous to his case?  He’d no doubt sue, so what should she do?

Deaker said public response to Veitch’s appearance had been extremely positive. “People are just thrilled he has had the opportunity. Lots of people have been coming up to me saying `well done, the guy deserves a break’.”

It can’t be just me that sees the irony in a lot of people stating Veitch also deserves a break.  Surely Shirley!

I don’t want the guy to never work again, I just thought that I probably wouldn’t be seeing him on my big, shiny, moving image thingummy until the case was tried and there was some resolution to the whole shebang.   If he is convicted, what will Sky Sport say then about supporting a violent offender, will he remain on the show then, Murray?  Perhaps they are just using Tony and his extremely high, if not positive, profile.  Quelle surprise, tell me it ain’t so.

I don’t really care too much that he has managed to creep back onto our television, as I personally won’t watch him – thankfully he’s no longer reading the news, but I do care that his trial is fair, and that he is rehabilitated so he can be a healthy, contributing member of society.  A part of that rehab is acknowledging your weaknesses in order to improve upon them, taking your problems and owning them, having sincere remorse and an understanding of your issues that provides you the motivation to change. 

You also have to accept that people are going to have an opinion – particularly when you have a high profile job on the telly and you get outed as a basher who tried to be a husher for casher (see what I did there?), and that often times many opinions aren’t going to be favourable.  Duh.  Don’t they teach that as Fame 101? 

Until Veitch recognises that he isn’t the victim, that circumstances now, come of his own volition, that suing nay-sayers isn’t the way to get closure – he just isn’t going to gain respect from viewers or social commentators.  In fact, how will he ever be able to move on from this awful incident?  Tony is victimising himself and mega-insulting the real victim and other real victims of domestic violence.  Tres unattractive. 

Our justice system timetable totally sux, in that the trial is not planned till 2010, but I still maintain that for the sake of a fair trial, Tony should pipe down about his trauma-dramas until then; use the time to look at why this all kicked off, and what he can do to change himself and help others in similar situations.   His PR folk are killing him.  Glenda Hughes, too, needs to think about herself for just a lil’ ole minute or so.

Anyone wonder if Chris Brown will be back making number 1 tracks, shakin’ his thang all over the telly in a few months?

*And looney Paul Holmes.

James Nesbitt: Yellow Pages classically trained actor

James Nesbitt rocks.   I’ve been a fan since he stuck a rose up his bum and wandered the streets naked offering his flowery love in the excellent Cold Feet

Here he is starring in a series of cutesy, comical Yellow Pages ads.

Here he is on British pop quiz show, Never Mind the Buzzcocks, being shown what folk these days tend to use the old skool Yellow Pages books for.

Twitter Hack

There’s plenty of hacks on Twitter, but the latest hacking incident will have left a few major celebs and world figures a teensy bit upset. 


Britney has found herself in the mixed company of President Obama, CNN and Fox News, as victims of recent Twitter account hackings.  Fox News tweeted (hacked) that Bill O’Reilly is gay.  Man, I so hate Bill O’Reilly.  Hate-hate.  Even typing his name is annoying.  Too many shift key manoeuvres and L’s.  There’s L’s all over that guy’s name.  Ugh.

I really do not get it, why are people so hung up on the word gay being an insult?   What is that about? 

I’ve heard many different folk bandy the phrase around; a semi-insult, a throwaway derogatory comment, not even realising their offense, and most (if given the opportunity to explain) say they never meant to cause any harm.  It seems to be a new accepted standard turn of phrase.  And it totally gets my goat.   Wikipedia reckons it became pejorative around the same time that ‘gay’ became a common informal term for ‘homosexual‘.  I’m not so sure.

As for the Twitter hacker, there is no irony in calling someone who openly talks hate against homosexuals (actually, Bill O’BlimminReilly openly hates on anyone who has an opinion differing to his own), gay.  It’s a sexual preference, not a flaming insult.  Get a grip, people.  Talk sense.  Insult in a sensical fashion. 

And stop saying “that’s so gay”.  Tis unnecessary, unless you are watching a gay porno, obv.  Or observing olde worlde use of the word about carefree and happy things.

Christian Bale takes it out to the streets: Bale out, the spoof

Lita is taking a short, but necessary break from the BOTS chain gang.  Tis in everyone’s best interest, this way I won’t end up going all Christian Bale on your asses (which, incidentally, has already earned an Urban Dictionary entry).

Check out this spoof of Christian Bale‘s recent on-set hissy fit.

Unable to find work due to his anger management issues, Christian Bale reprises his role of Batman on the streets of Hollywood.

This remix is heading towards 2 million views on YouTube, pretty amazing considering it has only been up a week.

Language is so NSFW and the chorus is tres catchy.

Morph Mourning: RIP Tony Hart

One of my childhood heroes has passed away.  


Morph, Take Hart and Vision On are all firm and fond in my memory.  Tony Hart was the top man and Morph was way cooler than anything Disney was animating at the time.

Artist and legendary children’s presenter Tony Hart has died at the age of 83. He had suffered from health problems for a number of years. 

 Tony made art cool, fun and interesting for the very young, without talking to us like we were monkeys.  He greatly inspired me, I remember begging my Ma to cut the buttons from Pa’s shirts, so I could make art, obv.  Button art.  All the rage with the under 7s in the early 80s. 


I even think I sent in my own pieces for The Gallery, not that I ever got to see one of my works on telly.  I had to try though, Tony always made me feel like he would see my button art or macaroni drawing and absolutely love it.  Of course, my artwork would inspire him and Morph to talk about it, musing over the cleverness and beauty.  

I used to watch Vision On, waiting for the day Tony mentioned New Zealand and his biggest kiwi fan, Lita.  In my daydreams it seemed like a good segue for Hart to then hang up my button/macaroni art in the gallery.  Tis good to dream big.

I found myself sniffling at the moving obituary from the Telegraph.

Whether using paints, clay, textiles, foodstuffs or a cast-off object of almost any description, Hart had the magical ability to produce competent, entertaining pieces of work at impressive speed and in an unpatronising fashion. His avuncular, mildly eccentric manner made him the ideal host for children of all ages; indeed, at the height of one of his popularity in the mid 1980s, Hart’s request that viewers send in their own pictures to exhibit in “The Gallery”, a large wall showcasing their efforts, generated 6,000 submissions a week.