I have bad news. It’s totally devastating me, so I dunno how y’all will cope -you fragile, precious puppies.
Forget the uppy downy cost of petrol, or the uppy uppy cost of cheese. Don’t even worry about the increase in For Sale signs littering your suburban grass berms. And don’t even think about the banks or the auto industry. Don’t do it. Don’t go there. Tis nothing. These things happen every 7-9 or 9 -11 years. Nowt but a cycle, and cycles are fine, they always go round.
What is really worth worrying about is when a brilliant, different, so clever it’s blimmin naughty business closes it’s doors. And it has nowt to do with the economy!
Since opening in 2001, there have been many death threats to Tshirt Hell staff, this may shock you, but some Americans want to pick and choose the bits of free speech that they want to be free and the bits that they want to be not-so-free, there was even a suspected poisoning of the founder. So, when the hate mail filing cabinet collapsed this time, they decided to not bother replacing it.
I’m done. I’m finished. I can’t take the stupidity anymore, so I’m leaving and I’m taking my website with me. As of Tuesday, Feb 10, 2009, T-Shirt Hell will be no more.
No, I’m not selling out to some douchebag corporate entity. No, we’re not being sued by any of the over 40 companies that have sent us cease and desists over the years. No, I’m not going to jail (yet) and no, it’s not because of the economy. Although, the recent dip in sales certainly does make the idea easier to accept, even though we still sell over 3000 shirts a week. I just don’t feel like dealing with idiots anymore.
Attention any venture capitalists or independent investors/business assholes who are about to inquire about purchasing T-Shirt Hell. Don’t. You won’t do the company justice and I won’t take that chance. I’m putting it to sleep. It’s over.
That’s right, I’m crazy. I’m pulling the plug on a company I could have sold for millions. Why in the fucking world would I do something so stupid? Because I can. I don’t care about money. This is the way I’ve always done things…my way.
What a great way to go! Bow down in the shadow of the giant bluish balls of Sunshine Megatron (which, incidentally, is the very same name I plan to give my firstborn).
I’m totally bummed though, who else is gonna send me an invoice that states at the top in caps: “THIS IS YOUR FUCKING INVOICE” ? Now, I’m going to have to stick my own hand-made sweary post-its on my tax returns, which is far less likely to shock and insult the IRD. Jeesh. And I have to reorder all my fave shirts before Tshirt Hell closes in two weeks.
Sure, there are other funny, online tshirt shops. But, there is only one Tshirt Hell, noone else compares.
Rest In Wicked Peace Tshirt Hell – I’ll look you up when I get there.