Monthly Archives: January 2009

Creative pet grooming

I’m always looking for new ways to torture* the cat.  This book gets waved in his face whenever I feel creative, or remember I own the book, or whenever the cat looks at me funny and I feel creative and I remember I have the book.  Anyway, the point is, animals don’t really like being dressed up and painted, then shown to the world.  Tis embarrassing for them.  Meanwhile, us humans find it amazing and slash or hilarious. 

We are so the more advanced of the mammal species.  Oh yes. 

dcindychickenCindy looks thrilled to represent California as a chicken

dragon2Cindy wins again, the dragon with the mostest pink nail polish

dleonardoodle1Cindy losing face chin as Leonardoodle from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

For more funny pics of the fabulous Cindy posing as various things that are not dogs, click here.  Now that would be a good paint job; painting a poodle to look like a bulldog!  Or painting a cat to be a poodle!  Genius.  Now, where has my cat got to?

* Mental anguish and torture, people.  Please don’t write in complaining.  Truth be known, Lita is the one with the foot long scars and greeted most mornings with a paw-claw in the eye.  Lita’s cat is the one living a long free ride of meat, sleep and squeak.  If I want to spend 2 minutes a day pretending I’m the boss; questioning the cat about his whereabouts, making him chase lemons like a dog would a ball, insisting he recite Maori place names (Kumeu) and then call that torture, I blimmin well will.

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Talk about the only way is up, baby

This hit rocked my world way back when, until the day some guy from school (that I majorly fancied) walked in on me dancing to it, following my own choreography, complete with Yazz-loike leg kicks.  Shaaaame out.

This is DJ Chris Racine’s Almighty remix of Yazz’s The only way is up.

Possibly the real shame is that I then copied Yazz’s hair style for a few years.  Ahem.  Ok, ok, the big shame out truth is I intend to bring back the Yazz look one more time, at an 80s party tonight.  Oh yes.  The only way is up, right?

Unnecessary Knowledge

Want to know something completely irrelevant and unnecessary?  Click here.

unnec

I personally think this is necessary knowledge, particularly if you are a donkey.

Cute things falling asleep

Aww.  This blog hits all the cutesy pukesy buttons.  

Warning: Watching too many of these vids in a row will make your cheeks hurt, and you may feel sleepy.

Best rollercoaster souvenir photos ever

Some of these rollercoaster souvenir pics are classic comedy gold. Inspiring. 

New Zealand needs more rollercoasters.  Another to add to my Dear John letter.

thumbs_roller-coaster-10

thumbs_roller-coaster-161

Streetsy

For your fix of daily street art, in the vain of Banksy and other urban artistes, check out Streetsy.com.

jace-street1

Streetsy’s Best of 2008 is a visual representation of the weirdo year that ’08  truly was.

Hell closing down sale

I have bad news.  It’s totally devastating me, so I dunno how y’all will cope -you fragile, precious puppies.   

Forget the uppy downy cost of petrol, or the uppy uppy cost of cheese.  Don’t even worry about the increase in For Sale signs littering your suburban grass berms.  And don’t even think about the banks or the auto industry.  Don’t do it.  Don’t go there.  Tis nothing.  These things happen every 7-9 or 9 -11 years.  Nowt but a cycle, and cycles are fine, they always go round. 

What is really worth worrying about is when a brilliant, different, so clever it’s blimmin naughty business closes it’s doors.  And it has nowt to do with the economy! 

tshirthell

Since opening in 2001, there have been many death threats to Tshirt Hell staff, this may shock you, but some Americans want to pick and choose the bits of free speech that they want to be free and the bits that they want to be not-so-free, there was even a suspected poisoning of the founder.  So, when the hate mail filing cabinet collapsed this time, they decided to not bother replacing it.  

The ever eloquent Sunshine Megatron, creator of Tshirt Hell – the bestest, nastiest tshirt shop on le internets, explains it all.   Have your handerkerchief at the ready.

I’m done. I’m finished. I can’t take the stupidity anymore, so I’m leaving and I’m taking my website with me. As of Tuesday, Feb 10, 2009, T-Shirt Hell will be no more.

No, I’m not selling out to some douchebag corporate entity. No, we’re not being sued by any of the over 40 companies that have sent us cease and desists over the years. No, I’m not going to jail (yet) and no, it’s not because of the economy. Although, the recent dip in sales certainly does make the idea easier to accept, even though we still sell over 3000 shirts a week.  I just don’t feel like dealing with idiots anymore.

Attention any venture capitalists or independent investors/business assholes who are about to inquire about purchasing T-Shirt Hell. Don’t. You won’t do the company justice and I won’t take that chance. I’m putting it to sleep. It’s over.

That’s right, I’m crazy. I’m pulling the plug on a company I could have sold for millions. Why in the fucking world would I do something so stupid? Because I can. I don’t care about money. This is the way I’ve always done things…my way.

What a great way to go!  Bow down in the shadow of the giant bluish balls of Sunshine Megatron (which, incidentally, is the very same name I plan to give my firstborn).

I’m totally bummed though, who else is gonna send me an invoice that states at the top in caps: “THIS IS YOUR FUCKING INVOICE” ?  Now, I’m going to have to stick my own hand-made sweary post-its on my tax returns, which is far less likely to shock and insult the IRD.  Jeesh.  And I have to reorder all my fave shirts before Tshirt Hell closes in two weeks.

Sure, there are other funny, online tshirt shops.  But, there is only one Tshirt Hell, noone else compares.

Rest In Wicked Peace Tshirt Hell – I’ll look you up when I get there.