Keep an eye out for dem dar nasty pirates and dar big, beautiful cleavages. Ee-arr. Ahoy floating boobies starboard Cap’n, oo-arr.
More than 130,000 inflatable breasts have been lost at sea en route to Australia.
Men’s magazine Ralph was planning to include the boobs as a free gift with its January issue.
A spokeswoman for Ralph said the container left docks in Beijing two weeks ago but turned up empty in Sydney this week. Ralph editor Santi Pintado urged anyone who has any information to contact the magazine.
“If anyone finds any washed up on a beach, please let us know.”
Aloha! Ralph actually plans to still use these salty silicone sacks, if they recover them. Who knows where they’ve been?
If anyone offers you near new, pre-loved chicken fillets that smell of seaweed and pirate/penguin sweat, just say no.