There’s a fruity little PDF doing the email rounds. It’s an article from UK magazine, Closer, about a strange American lad named Jordan.
Despite never having kissed a girl before, virgin Jordan has become an experienced lover, covering his car with kisses and caresses before having penetrative sex with the exhaust pipe.
“I don’t always have sex with the car,” he explains. “Sometimes I stroke and kiss her bodywork, or rub myself up against her. If I’ve just been driving her, I have to wait for the exhaust pipe to cool down before I have sex. And I always use a condom because of all the dirt and dust inside.”
Ahem. It appears the article is true. You can read here about how Jordan’s Dad knew about his son’s fetish but refused to put the brakes on it, and other automobile related euphemisms about car love.
Jordan has entered into discussion in the article’s online comments box, admitting he doesn’t always use a condom and that he felt the article made it sound “like I’m a wild car-rapist”.
Yo. I don’t think It’s ‘normal’ really, and also this story has some exaggerations of my statements… for example, I never said I used condoms. 😉 However, yeah, that car is sexy as hell and I have had sex with it. Besides, it’s not a lifestyle, it’s just my sort of sexuality. I have terrific friends and family, and it doesn’t matter what I tell them. Everyone has a ‘thing’, mine’s just bizarre… and I don’t usually talk about it, because who really needs to know? In day-to-day life this kind of thing doesn’t really even matter.
But I understand, It is pretty weird; but take it or leave it, it gets a lot of reactions, which is good for media.
Well whatever, I understand your viewpoints. It’s just, some people get off on feet or bondage, I get off on cars. Big whoop, right?
This article makes it sound like I’m a wild car-rapist. In reality, I just love my cars a lot, and sometimes get kinky with ’em.
But Mr. ‘FreakPolice’… It doesn’t matter in day to day life. After talking to some people on the internet, I was approached to make a film about the subject. Free road trips across the US and film stuff was quite appealing, so I did it. Then, Closer saw the film and wanted to talk to me about it, then they wrote this. I’m not actively trying to push this on anyone. It just seems lots of media people like to talk about it.