Monthly Archives: April 2008

Gangstah Web Designah

This wicked rap by The Poetic Prophet (aka The SEO Rapper) tells about the crazy world of web design, This marketing rap gives it to you straight and keeps it real.  Oh yes, everything you ever wanted to know about web standards and how to impact the ranking and conversion of pages on your website.  In rap format.  I dig.  Yo.

Click after the jump for the lyrics.

Continue reading

Strange TradeMe: Spitfire MK16 for sale

Wicked.  You don’t know how long I have been waiting for one of these to come up 2nd hand on TradeMe.  Thanks Sam

I wonder how much the new paint job will cost, warfare colours are so 1944 last year.

The TradeMe auction has had over 137,000 views.  I especially like how the seller allows pick ups.  Handy.

Vickers-Supermarine Spitfire is offered for sale. You have the opportunity to own one of WW11’s most famous fighters. In the 15-years of front-line service was unequalled by any other Allied fighter Aircraft. All together 20,351 Spitfires were built, no fewer than 50 are flying in the world today. This Spitfire is not a composite nor a facsimile but is a genuine factory built aircraft with no equal in New Zealand today, with all original equipment as fitted by the factory in 1944. This aircraft is not currently flying.  P.O.A

 Click to enlarge – The aircraft is currently not flying, hence its stationary appearance in the pics.

Canterbury Barbies

Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls specifically for the Canterbury market:

Fendalton Barbie
This princess Barbie is sold only in Fendalton. She comes with an assortment of Prada Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey, a designer kitchen and Ikea furniture. Available with or without tummy tuck and face-lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

Prebbleton Barbie
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Honda Odessy Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming mobile phone sold separately.  Comes complete with a red or yellow tiled house with a fresh coat of cement render.

Aranui Barbie
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a carton of Holiday cigarettes (50 in each pack – super value!), a two litre bottle of home brand cola, a ‘lolux’ with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable notes) …unless you are a cop, then we don’t know what you are talking about.  

Click after the jump to see Barbies representing Rolleston, Hokitika, Lyttleton, CBD, Linwood and Hornby. Continue reading

The Official Redneck Sex Quiz

True or false?

  • A clitoris is a type of flower
  • A pubic hair is a wild rabbit
  • A vulva is an automobile from Sweden
  • The term ‘spread eagle’ is an extinct bird
  • A fallopian tube is part of a television
  • It is dangerous to have a wet dream on an electric blanket
  • Copulation is sex between two consenting policemen
  • McDonalds’ golden arches is a phallus symbol
  • A vagina is a medical term used to describe heart trouble
  • A menstrual cycle has 3 wheels
  • Fellatio is an Italian dagger
  • A G-string is a weapon used by G-Men
  • Semen is a term for sailors
  • An anus is a Greek word denoting a period of time
  • Testicles are found on an octopus
  • Cunnilingus is a person who can speak 4 languages
  • Masturbate is something used to catch large fish
  • Coitus is a musical instrument
  • A condom is an apartment complex

Bling Lear: Shakespeare goes street

So, this is how you get the yoof interested in the works of Shakespeare …

Written in chav-speak, for the ‘yoof’ generation, the latest translation of the Bard’s works may leave the traditionalists at a loss for, er, words.

But satirical writer Martin Baum is convinced that the 15 plays have lost none of their appeal in his abridged version, which is based on the sort of ‘street’ language used by TV comedy characters such as Sacha Baron Cohen’s Ali G, and the obnoxious schoolgirl Lauren, from the BBC’s The Catherine Tate Show.

In fact, Mr Baum believes his translation retains “the important sexist, duplicitous, cross-dressing and violent moments that made William Shakespeare well wicked”.

Clever folk at Google

I love it when Uncle Google gets all dressed up special-loike for the occasion. 

The search engine was wearing this earlier in the week for Earth Day.

Today, the crazy-uncle-that-knows-too-much is sporting this pretty poppy number and providing a handy link to all things ANZAC.

ANZAC Day Jelly Wrestle

You might already be planning to attend a dawn service for ANZAC Day remembrance, some of them conveniently start at 11am, or perhaps you live near Australia’s Gold Coast and plan to remember the fallen at the Runaway Bay Tavern’s jelly wrestle

In a move that has outraged war veterans, bikini-clad women from Jelly Babes – billed as Australia’s leading jelly wrestling show – will fight it out in a pool of jelly at the Runaway Bay Tavern.

However you choose to commemorate the day, just make sure you demand ID from the little old man selling you the poppy. 

Click here to hear an audio of The Last Post played during the 1956 dawn service at St Faith’s Church, Ohinemutu.