Homeless magnet

Oh yes, the homeless are back to work after the long Christmas break.

A-land’s CBD is once again overflowing with vagrants hanging outside corporate offices enjoying a few beers, a couple of joints and the odd bag of glue. As Summer peaks Lita’s homeless bingo card fills up.


It’s been a while since I was last accosted by the homeless rollerskater in Aotea Square who makes up poems about my clothing.  Despite the mortifying feeling when you realise that the nutter on skates is actually shouting to the world about your pink top, isn’t it nice to get compliments?

I recently spied a beggar wearing an Auckland City Council jacket with the phrase ‘Ask me about Auckland’ printed on the back.  He was helpfully giving directions to a group of elderly Americans who were hanging on every word he said, they seemed oblivious to the bird’s nest in his beard and the 4 pairs of trousers and rope belt he was wearing.  He was tipped well.  

Today I witnessed a drunken, wobbly man wearing a CourierPost uniform urinating in the bushes of the CourierPost sorting office.  Unless there are some bad employee relations going down or the company loos really reek, I suspect this ‘courier’ belonged to the group of homeless homies seen sharing 2 legs of lamb and some home-brew earlier.

To any Aucks homeless folk that have interweb access and may be reading right now: 

Peace out bros, I feel for your plight,  but please stop throwing your empties on the footpath/road and please stop intimidating me near my workplace.


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