Casual sex is only rewarding for the first few decades

Satire website The Onion publishes some out-there stories, but as it is in real life, a lot of things said in jest are based on truth.  Lita knows suspects this story is one of them.

An alarming new study published in the International Journal of Sexual Health reveals that casual sex, the practice of engaging in frequent, spontaneous sexual encounters with new and exciting partners, may only provide unimaginable pleasure and heart-pounding exhilaration for, at most, 25 to 30 years.

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“When I think back on the countless times I’ve had raw, almost bestial sex, indoors or outdoors, with one, sometimes two Asian women whose parents I’ll never have to meet, I occasionally get a little down,” Pertzborn said. “God, what if I wasted my life having guilt-free, uninhibited, sensually explosive sex with anyone I wanted?”

“Tragically, it’s quite possible that many of these singles may never realize how miserable a lifetime of phenomenal, kinky sex can make them,” said Sullivan, adding that recent evidence suggests such a healthy, rational realization could be further hindered by the experience of spontaneous oral sex behind the bushes at poolside cocktail parties. 

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