Calorie Burning – the fun way

Shaun, a faithful BOTS reader, has shared his own special weight watching plan with us.  Almost every activity beats working out at the gym.  It may not beat the gym for calorie burning, but it definitely beats the gym.  Believe me.  


At this time of the year lots of people are thinking about how to get their weight down to look good in their speedos. What could be better than a complete guide to the calories burnt off during sexual activity …

Removing her clothes:
With consent 12 Calories
Without consent 187 Calories

Opening her bra:
With both hands 8 Calories
With one hand 12 Calories
With your teeth 85 Calories

Putting on a condom:
With an erection 6 Calories
Without an erection 315 Calories

Trying to find the clitoris 8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot 92 Calories

Missionary 12 Calories

69 lying down 78 Calories
69 standing up 112 Calories
Wheelbarrow 216 Calories
Doggy Style 326 Calories
Italian Chandelier 912 Calories

Real 112 Calories
False 315 Calories

Post Orgasm:
Lying in bed hugging 18 Calories
Getting up immediately 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately 816 Calories

Getting a second erection:
20-29 years old 36 Calories
30-39 years 80 Calories
40-49 years 124 Calories
50-59 years 972 Calories
60-69 years 2916 Calories
70 and over  Death

Dressing afterwards:
Calmly 32 Calories
In a hurry 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door 1218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door 3521 Calories

Thanks Shaun! 

Click here to buy a 56 day Daily Sexercise Poster.


9 responses to “Calorie Burning – the fun way

  1. lockedgroove

    im quite sure it does also beat the gym for calorie burning..
    befor today i didnt even know what an Italian Chandelier is.
    google makes learning fun.

  2. You mean it’s not a light fitting? PMSL

  3. Ok, you guys made me have to use google – I thought it was a light fitting! But urban dictionary tells me I did know it after all, ahem.

  4. Is that the same cartoon dude in all of those pics?….

    Man, he’s livin’ the life…

  5. It is too Steve! He’s proving blondes have more fun.

  6. What do you mean calories burnt off removing her clothes “without her consent”? That’s not sex, that’s rape. It’s not funny either.

  7. Margaret – Sex without consent is rape and not funny. I read this (I didn’t write it) line about clothing to be a light joke about the times one partner wants it and the other doesn’t, in the same way the “with your wife knocking at the door ” line is making light of adultery.

    I would never post anything that condones rape or violence.

  8. “I would never post anything that condones rape or violence.”

    Earth to lita – you already did, and then you posted a comment explaining it as “a light joke.” Removing someone’s clothes without their consent is not funny.

  9. Excellent web-site by Kerri Kotzen

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